Batmantale
by AlithiaSigma
Summary: Batman finds himself in the Underground with nothing but his clothes and the drive to continue on. Really, it's Batman in Undertale. And Batman does have one power. He never gives up.
1. A Bat falls into the Ruins

**Author's Note:** I am so, so sorry.

* * *

Billionaire Bruce Wayne awoke to the familiar smell of damp cave walls and the unfamiliar smell of flowers. He sat up, realizing almost immediately that he was not in the Batcave. Sunlight shone from far above him. He ran though a number of possible scenarios that would have resulted in his presence here without memory of how he had ended up in such a place. He looked around, noting that he had been lying on a suspiciously dense and rectangular bed of yellow flowers and stood up and backed away from them. There was a high probability that this was the work of Poison Ivy, which meant those flowers could have any number of mutated properties. They appeared quite similar to buttercups, but were much larger than _Ranunculus repens_ naturally grew.

He was in his suit, but his utility belt appeared to be missing, along with most of his equipment, most notably his grappling hook. He would be unable to simply grapple his way out of this cave. This was most certainly a cause for alarm. It meant that whoever had brought him here not only managed to kidnap him without his knowledge, but had either disabled or evaded the many safeguards and traps he'd put in place to prevent the belt from being stolen. He had to find some way out before they, whoever they were, returned. He would be able to learn why he was brought here and retrieve his belt later.

The cave only led to one direction. He had no choice. So with no tools, no real knowledge of where he was, and very few clues, he headed the only way he could. Forward.

He walked down a fairly straight tunnel, and discovered an doorway-like opening framed by two pillars. He didn't recognize the architecture, but could tell by the erosion of the stone that it had been there for a long time. He entered it.

Away from the sunlight patch of flowers, the cave was dark, but he was accustomed to the darkness and unfazed by it. The ground here was stone, and he could hear his footsteps echo throughout the larger cavern that he had entered.

There was a small, lit area in front of him, and in the center of it, a single yellow flower. He was wary, but curious about its presence. As he approached, it _spoke_ to him, and he froze on the spot in surprise.

"Howdy! I'm FLOWEY," it said, "FLOWEY the FLOWER." Its voice was childish and light.

Batman blinked. The flower had two eyes and a mouth. It peered at him and he tensed, wondering if it were one of Poison Ivy's creations.

"Hmmm..." Flowey was smiling. "You're new to the UNDERGROUND, aren'tcha? Golly, you must be so confused."

He was confused, and the talking flower wasn't helping.

"Someone ought to teach you how things work around here!" The flower continued to talk, not even waiting for Batman to respond. "I guess little old me will have to do. Ready? Here we go!" Suddenly, his surroundings darkened completely and he felt _something_ being pulled out of him. That something appeared right in front of his chest, and just so happened to be a red, glowing... heart? It wasn't a real heart, certainly, but whatever it was had apparently come out of him, and illusion or not, that was unnerving.

The flower didn't miss a beat. "See that heart? That is your SOUL, the very culmination of your being. Your soul starts off weak, but can grow strong if you gain a lot of LV."

Batman discovered that while the glowing red heart, apparently his soul, was pulled out like this, he was forced to wait. He clenched his fist. He'd fallen into a trap, and this flower was taking its time to spring it.

"What does LV stand for?" continued the flower, as if Batman had asked, which he did not, "Why, LOVE of course! You want some LOVE, don'tcha? Don't worry, I'll share some with you!" Flowey winked and stuck out his tongue.

Batman just waited patiently for the flower to finish. Five while bullets appeared behind Flowey.

"Down here, LOVE is shared through... little white... 'friendliness pellets.' Are you ready? Move around, get as many as you can!"

The white bits started to converge on him. He covered himself with his cape and sidestepped out of the way and flatly said "I'd rather not." Normally, in this darkness, he would be nearly impossible to see, but the red glowing soul shone through the cape as if it weren't even there. He heard muted footsteps approaching.

The flower's grin shifted into a sinister smile and the voice took a menacing tone. "You know what's going on here, don't you? Well, that's not going to save you. DIE."

The white pellets suddenly surrounded him from all sides and began to close in around him while the flower laughed.

As suddenly as they came, the bullets disappeared, and a ball of fire seemed to knock over the flower without burning it. What appeared to be an anthropomorphic goat approached and looked at the flower disapprovingly.

"What a miserable creature, torturing a defenseless SOUL..." When the furry humanoid turned back to look at the human, he'd already disappeared.

Batman watched the goat woman look for him. His soul was no longer visible or glowing, and he was safely hidden in the Shadows. He re-evaluated his situation. The flower most certainly had ill intentions towards him, but didn't seem to have any connection to Poison Ivy, or in fact any of his known enemies. And whatever it did to him... if it were to be believed, it had pulled his soul from his body and forced him to wait for its attacks. He had no way to counter that. He would have to avoid such encounters as much as he could.

Were it not for the... goat woman... the flower would certainly have killed him. He blamed himself for not being careful. He'd been focused on moving forward and was nowhere near prepared for what happened.

He'd dealt with his fair share of strange circumstances, but this came with no explanation. Where was he? How did he get here? How was he going to leave?

He stealthily followed the goat person to another entrance. She entered it seemingly unaware of the man following her.

The sight of the entrance bolstered his resolve and filled him with determination.

He wouldn't be caught off guard like that again. He would find his way out of wherever he was and confront who or what was responsible for bringing him here.

* * *

 **Author's note:** It takes me weeks to write a single chapter of a serious fanfic, but this whole chapter is just a couple hours of work.

I need more practice with writing Batman. Ugh. Yeah, sorry, it's a bit of a slow start.

Addendum: Now EDITED with the help of a friend, AutumnLeavesInTheWind. I don't actually remember if she has an account here.


	2. He doesn't spend much time there

**Author's Note:** Well, this got popular. Thank you for the positive reviews. I hope this chapter meets your expectations. I might change this chapter around a little later.

* * *

The goat woman had left before Batman began to venture into the ruins, urged forward by a desire to continue. The dark purple stone was oddly calming, and the air was cool and fresher than he'd expected from a cave.

One thing Batman noticed was that the ruins were full of strange creatures. Large frogs, mobile masses of slime, and odd creatures that each seemed to be comprised mainly of a large eyeball were scattered around the area. He avoided them easily enough when he walked through the rooms themselves. He continued through the ruins, but turned back, feeling as if he were being watched. He thought he saw the tip of a petal quickly sink into the ground every time he did so, and realized that Flowey was watching him. He'd have to keep that in mind.

Despite the fact that both the flower and the goat woman had seen him, none of the other creatures seemed to be aware of his existence in the ruins as he moved through the rooms. The buttons at the entrance of the ruins remained depressed, and the door was left open. For some reason or another, this odd security system was left unarmed.

Seeing no other way forward, he entered, cautiously.

Upon entering, he found himself face to face with one of the frog creatures, which promptly pulled his soul out of his body. Despite his stealth, there simply was no way to avoid entering the doorway.  
But unlike the flower, which had attacked him, it seemed to be waiting for him to act.  
"Ribbit..." it said. It seemed quite surprised to see him.  
He sidestepped the frog and left, and his soul returned to him. He blinked. That was far too easy. He glanced back and saw that the frog was not pursuing him. He was confused.

He looked at the Froggit. Froggit noticed and looked at him. He blinked. Froggit seemed satisfied with this and hopped away, leaving a confused, but determined Batman behind it.

Batman was still wary of the creatures, but spent significantly less care in trying to hide himself from Froggits, which were every bit as hostile as rocks on a beach.  
The ruins were quite linear, and it wasn't long before he found the training dummy. It seemed completely untouched. He stared at it, wondering why there would be a training dummy in the ruins. Though unused, the dummy had no dust on it, and its oblong head was featureless beyond the stitches in its burlap. He wondered why it was there, when it got there, and if anyone intended to use it.

The dummy flew away.

Perhaps it was not the strangest thing that had happened that day, but it was certainly unexpected. He tried to see where it was flying, but it had flown beyond his range of vision.

In a moment, he deemed it unimportant and moved on.

After a room of spikes that were spaced far enough apart from each other to step between, and pressed into the floor when any pressure was applied to them, he found a long corridor that lead to another room.

In front of that corridor was the goat woman.

Toriel gave up looking for the human a while ago. They had disappeared immediately after she had saved them, and evaded her notice since. She only saw them for a moment, and saw nothing more than their soul and two white slits behind which she assumed were their eyes.  
She dearly hoped that they would find their way to her home safely. She wondered if they were frightened, and if they would like some pie. She longed to comfort them and reassure them that they would be safe... Perhaps this one would not want to leave the Ruins. If they had fled from her presence, would they wish to venture further in the Underground?

She had left many of the puzzles unset, deeming that the human should not attempt them without her guidance. They must have been scared and alone... Perhaps they had ventured further into the ruins... What if they'd inadvertently hurt someone? What if someone hurt them?  
Even if they weren't hurt, perhaps some comfort would be welcome. Some pie, perhaps. They might benefit from a cell phone...

She decided that she would wait for them in front of the long corridor. They wouldn't need to face the empty hall alone.  
He did come, and she finally got a look at him. He was tall for a human, only half a foot shorter than she was, though the pointed horn-like protrusions on his head partly made up for the difference. Had she not seen his soul earlier, he might have passed for a monster the way he stood, with his cape closed around him and his face obscured. He didn't look nearly as frightened as she'd imagined.

"I am Toriel, keeper of the Ruins," she said, her hands clasped together in front of her, "I apologize that I couldn't find you sooner..." She would have healed his wounds, but it appeared that he had none.

By now, Batman had ruled out the involvement of Poison Ivy, and likewise any of the villains he'd known. Not only did nearly all of them lack the means and motivation to cause something like this, but the few psychics and illusionists who could have possibly conjured this lacked the imagination of something so deviated from their usual modus operandi. Doctor Destiny, for example, would be hard pressed to replicate the cool air, or the echo of footsteps on stone, while any illusion or hallucination the Scarecrow touched would most certainly be tainted by an induced and enforced sense of fear and terror. But his mind was clear, and his surroundings as real as he.

When the impossible was eliminated, what remains is the truth. And the truth was, he was talking to a tall goat woman named Toriel in Ruins filled with Froggits and Whimsuns and Moldsmals.

"It's not your fault," he replied, "I was hoping to avoid detection, but that seems to be both impractical and unnecessary." He reached for a batarang, a usual precaution, on the off-chance that Toriel would attack him or he would otherwise be ambushed, but was met with the reality that his utility belt was still absent.  
Toriel noticed the movement, but didn't mention it. "The monsters here are quite peaceful, and don't mean any harm. A peaceful conversation usually satisfies them."  
Batman "hmm"ed noncommittally. Talking to frogs wasn't high on his list of potentially useful things to do. "Is there any way out of the Ruins?" he asked. He'd yet to find any clues on how he got there or where his equipment was, but he would find little here, and had to move forward.

Toriel looked saddened by his question."...Yes, there is... But is it really necessary to leave? I know you must want to return to the surface, but that's simply not possible... I have an unused room at my home, books..."

Batman watched her carefully. He wasn't entirely sure why she was trying to persuade him to stay, but he could see by the way she shifted her big fluffy hands, how she was refraining from averting her gaze, and the faint and fading hope in her eyes and he stood resolutely, that this wasn't the first time she tried to keep someone there. And that the outcomes of her previous failures were hard for her to think about. "I can't stay here," he told her, shaking his head, "I have responsibilities. Please tell me how to leave."

Toriel sighed. This human was not a child, and maybe, just maybe, he would be able to protect himself. ...Even if he could not, she was unlikely to convince him to stay. She hoped that this time would be different, that she would be able to protect someone. She pulled out a cell phone and a bag of coins from her pockets, as the human watched her, as if expecting her to draw a weapon. "...If you must leave... at least take these... Call me once in a while..." emI want to know you're still alive.../em "...It gets quite lonely in the Ruins... You may need the gold to buy things in the Underground. I noticed you don't have any. ...I'll lead you to the exit. Please, follow me." She turned to leave, making sure the human followed her.

Batman considered refusing, but saw nothing to gain from denying the lonely monster and followed her through the rest of the Ruins, across puzzles, past a view of an abandoned city, into what he assumed what her house, down to its basement, and up another long corridor leading to a large door.

"Beyond this door lies the rest of the Underground. ...Are you sure I cannot have you stay? No human has left the Underground... ASGORE kills them all." Toriel's tone was bitter when she mentioned his name, but unless Batman was mistaken, he'd heard a hint of wistfulness in her voice as well.

"Don't worry about me. He wouldn't be the first to try to kill me."

Toriel seemed slightly taken aback by this comment. "In that case..." she said, "Take this, you might need it." She took out a wrapped bar of chocolate and placed it in the human's hand. Batman only raised his eyebrow as he took it. "And please," added Toriel, "Don't hurt anyone..."

Batman opened the door and stepped outside. As he walked through the final dark corridor of the Ruins, the air grew colder. His surroundings lightened steadily until he reached another dark room with another sunlit patch of grass. And predictably, the sunlit patch held the same yellow flower that attacked him at the beginning of his journey.

"Howdy!" it said, "It seems you've made it. Gee, you sure are boring. You didn't fight anyone, and you're big and scary enough for Toriel to not protect you." The flower sneered. "But I bet that once you get out there, once you find monsters who will do anything to steal your soul, you'll kill them with your own two hands. You won't be able to walk away from fights forever. In this world, it's kill or be killed."

"If that's the case," Batman retorted, "You would be dead already." He headed towards the final door, leaving Flowey to ponder his words in his wake.  
He opened the door and left the Ruins. Snow fell around him, and trees loomed far above. The cavernous expanse stretched around him, enormous compared to the Ruins. The path in front of him beckoned him onward and filled him with determination.

* * *

 **Author's note:** Yeah, sorry, Batman doesn't do much in the Ruins. But if you think this is the last you'll see of Toriel, you're forgetting some important parts of the story. Some of the discerning of you will have at least a few question regarding consistency and continuity. I assure you, they will be answered. But not here. That'd just spoil it. Up next is Sans, and the parts I've really been looking forward to.  
I'm honestly surprised by all the positive feedback. Really, this story's shaping up to be my most popular one. Thank you for all the encouragement. I'd make a comment about determination, but I think Batman's got enough for the both of us.

-Edited as well

-EDITED AGAIN BECAUSE HTML


	3. Sans is humerus

**A/N:** This is the most followers and reviews I've ever had from a story. Thank you all so much! I'll definitely be writing more chapters for this one. I'm also co-writing a Batman/Yugioh Arc V fanfiction with Vector/Rei Shingetsu called "The Protector of Heartland"

Please do take a look. Now, I've taken up enough of your story-reading time. Let's get to Batman.

* * *

The forest was quiet. Suspiciously quiet. And beyond one fallen branch, uncomfortably clear. There was a camera behind a rock next to the door. He was being watched. If he had his tools with him, he would have traced its signal to whoever was spying on him. Instead, he settled for obscuring its vision with snow.

Batman slipped in between the trees beside the path, and found that the forest was quite dense, with ample cover. Much better. He found and picked up a decent-sized branch. Whether or not he was going to have to attack anyone, Batman would much rather not be defenseless.

He took a route parallel to the path, away from the Ruins door. He'd have to keep moving if he were to leave the Underground.

He heard a rustling from behind him. He stopped and held the branch, turning around and trying to detect the source of the noise.

It was coming from the undergrowth, and Batman could see what appeared to be a blue jacket of sorts from between branches and snow-dusted leaves. From its positioning, it seemed someone was crouched there, watching him.

He pretended to inspect a tree, as if he hadn't seen who was observing him, and began systematically drawing nearer to their hiding spot.

Judging the distance he would approach before they would attempt to find another hiding spot, and limiting their options by positioning himself where he would see if they moved, or at the very least, be able to discern their next hiding spot, Batman got closer.

And in one swift, precise, calculated movement, he grabbed them by the shirt collar and lifted them up...

...or he would have, if he hadn't MISSED.

Whoever was watching him had to be either as fast as the Flash, or able to teleport. If they were invisible he would still have caught them, and if they were intangible, he would still be seeing them.

He felt a presence behind him and narrowed his eyes, his mask's eye slits following suit.

Perhaps this is what it felt like when he sneaked up on people.

" **Human.** " The voice was low, a deep, menacing growl.

Perhaps this is what it felt like when he sneaked behind people and addressed them.

Batman turned around as the voice continued speaking.

" **Don't you know how to greet a new pal?** " They stretched out a hand, mostly hidden by the sleeve of their blue hooded coat. Their face was also obscured by the hood of said coat. They were short, and Batman could not see any of their face. They were wearing a white shirt under their hood, he could see part of it just above the zipper of the coat. Despite the sleeve, Batman could see the tips of their fingers— Or more accurately, the bare distal phalanges of their three longest fingers.

" **Come here, and shake my hand.** "

However much practice the skeleton had with hiding things in his hands, Batman had more practice with not being played a fool by them. A certain clown was quite fond of juvenile pranks.

"Remove the buzzer from your hand, and I might consider it." Batman was not going to deal with this nonsense.

The figure took off his hood, proving that he was, indeed, a skeleton.

"no need to be _buzz_ -kill..." He took his hand out of his sleeve and picked the whoopie cushion he taped on it off and held it up. "though the news might be _shocking,_ it's actually a whoopee cushion." Sans stretched out his now-empty hand, looked up at the tall human with his usual grin, and said "the name's sans. sans the skeleton." Sans' voice lost its menacing tone and took on a laid-back, casual air.

Batman was not very amused. He shook Sans' hand politely, and considered leaving somewhat less politely.

"so you're a human, huh? that's hilarious. my bro and i are on the lookout for humans, actually. we're sentries." The skeleton looked into the human's eyes with an unblinking stare. Combined with the unwavering grin, most would consider the look unnerving. Batman had his share of odd situations, and though a talking skeleton was indeed a deal stranger than many of the things he'd witnessed, it wasn't overly shocking. The skeleton's mouth didn't move as he spoke.

Batman wondered how Sans' bones stayed together. Perhaps there were magnets embedded in the bones. They'd have to be designed very specifically. It's possible that the skeleton was a construct; it wouldn't be difficult to animate it remotely. The part he couldn't figure out were the eyes. The pinpricks of light were small, and could move in the eye socket, but he could see no lenses or mechanics from it.

Sans kept talking. "i'm not really interested in capturing anyone, but my bro's a human-hunting FANATIC. i bet it'd really make him happy to see one, so if you meet him, it'd be nice if you told him." The look on Batman's face wasn't one of amusement. "or not. he might not even know if you don't." Sans raises his hands to top of his head and stuck his index fingers up, imitating Batman's cowl. "though i'd probably get an _earful_ if he finds out i knew you're a human when he didn't. he's definitely going to _mask_ you about it." Sans winked. "don't worry about my bro. he's not gonna hurt you." Suddenly, the skeleton's pupils disappeared. "And if you hurt him, well... that's on you." The lights returned. "welp, see ya around." The skeleton walked behind a tree and disappeared.

That couldn't have been an actual skeleton.

Sans had been watching the human from the moment he was out of the door. He could tell from first glance that the human was no stranger to violence, but had no dust on his hands, nor intent to kill. Yet. And Sans was hoping it would stay that way.

He was also hoping to have a bit of fun, but the human didn't seem to have a funny bone in him. If Sans weren't so good at dodging, he'd have been grabbed by the neck, and wouldn't that be a crummy juncture? You'd think someone dressed like a... whatever he was supposed to be dressed as... would have a sense of humour. The guy didn't smirk or groan at his puns, but that didn't worry Sans. The look on his face was of someone who simply didn't have much of a concept of "funny," not of an unfeeling psychopath. Being too lazy to walk home just yet, Sans decided to see how the lady behind the door was doing.

Not that he walked to the door, or would have walked to his own home anyways. The human could take care of himself.

Batman didn't have any intention of encountering Sans' brother, let alone fight him. He continued forward, the shade of the trees filling him with determination.

* * *

 **A/N** : I was originally planning to have Papyrus show up in this chapter but it ended up not happening. Don't worry, they will meet. Thank you for the encouragement, this is easily my most popular fanfic.

And please do check out "The Protector of Heartland" if you are familiar with Yugioh Arc V.

-Edited


	4. Papyrus is loud

**Author's Note:** Now for your completely unscheduled and irregular update of Batmantale! Sorry for taking so long. I haven't really been up to writing this. I've got way more plans for Waterfall and Hotland than Snowdin.

I'm still advertising the Yugioh Arc V/Batman crossover.

* * *

The forest was quite empty. It seemed monsters rarely, if ever, went to this part of the forest. Too far from the town. Of course, he'd have to stop by the town. His utility belt wasn't likely to have simply been abandoned in the forest. Whether it was taken to hinder him, or because of what it contained, it would be impossible for whoever had taken it to not know that it was useful.

It was quite cold. Batman's suit was well insulated and protected him from most of it, but the lower half of his face was uncovered, and he took note of the temperature. It was snowing, and Batman wondered how. The ceiling of the massive cave that made the Underground was, at least here, very high up. Perhaps high enough to form snow, as there could conceivably be enough moisture in the air.

As Clark was nowhere to be seen, the Kryptonian must have either been off saving some distant world and unable to hear him or notice his absence, or finally realized that Batman could take care of himself. Still, he wondered if Clark had tried to contact him. Clark seemed to have a habit of dropping by if he'd hadn't been contacted for a while.

The woods became busier the further he went, but most monsters barely gave him a second glance.

Unfortunately for him, that did not go for Snowdrake; a light blue and vaguely draconic-avian monster who, for some reason, thought that Batman was the perfect target to tell jokes to. His soul was pulled out and yet another encounter was initiated, the limits to his movement adjusting as they walked and the monster teen tried to keep him a captive audience in the now-monochrome setting.

"Ice to meet you," started Snowdrake.

Batman ignored the pun and continued walking. Scything semi-circles swirled around the two of them and between them theatrically, often passing too close for comfort, forcing him to play attention to their movements.

"C'mon, don't be so _cold._ "

Batman dodged a row of the curving bullets, continuing to ignore Snowdrake.

"Puns are snow problem for me.

"Don't _snowflake_ out on Snowdrake now!

" _Chill_ , dude.

"You're _snow_ fun..."

And with that, Snowdrake left.

Almost immediately after Snowdrake left him, a large, armed and armored anthropomorphic dog began blocking his way, stepping to either side he moved.

Lesser Dog looked at Batman expectantly, begging for attention.

Batman looked at the dog, eyebrow raised. The dog looked back. Lesser dog tilted his head towards Batman, panting. Batman raised his hand hesitantly and the dog grew excited. He pet the dog, and the dog let him leave.

What a battle.

Shortly after the woods ended, Batman found what appeared to be a puzzle of some sort. It was an array of large red 'X'es on the ground, with a switch next to them. Between him and his destination was a row of short spikes. He ignored the puzzle and stepped over the spikes. This happened twice more, once past a patch of slippery, but easily navigated ice.

Ahead, Batman saw a bridge. In front of that bridge was another skeleton. A little more than a head taller than Sans, but still shorter than he was. The skeleton's outfit reminded him of some young novice would-be members of the League. Made for looks, but not for practicality. Completely unprepared for any actual sort of fight. He checked the chasm the bridge spanned. It was too steep to climb down without equipment, and too high to safely jump down. If he had his utility belt, there would be numerous ways for him to bypass the bridge entirely, but that was not the case. He'd have to take the bridge.

"NYEH HEH HEH! YOU HAVE ENCOUNTERED THE GREAT PAPYRUS!" The skeleton was very loud, and unlike Sans, had small eyesockets with no lights in them. However these skeletons came to be, they certainly weren't natural. The anatomy was impossible for a human skeleton, and he knew no creature with a skeletal structure like that. The question was, why would it be designed as such? He could imagine the Scarecrow making animatronic skeletons, if he found a cause to, and Toyman would certainly make robots with such cartoonish proportions.

But he'd already ruled out either of them for having been responsible of this, and he could not discern the purpose of the skeletons' existences.

...Not that it was easy to discern such of the monsters he had encountered, but they seemed to be simply that. Sentient creatures, living their lives. The skeletons, however, were physically and biologically impossible.

"YOU SEEM NEW! DO YOU COME FROM THE FOREST?" The skeleton, Papyrus, as he'd earlier introduced himself, sounded very enthusiastic for some reason.

"Yes. May I cross the bridge?"

Papyrus stepped out of the way.

"OF COURSE! SNOWDIN TOWN IS RIGHT THIS WAY!"

The bridge was... not a bridge, but in fact, some sort of rock formation that had been painted over with ropes added to it.

If the clacking sounds behind him were any indication, Papyrus was following him.

If the sounds of bones on stone were not an indication, the fact he began speaking again was.

"IS THIS YOUR FIRST TIME IN SNOWDIN? MY BROTHER AND I HAVE LIVED HERE FOR A WHILE AND WE'VE NEVER SEEN A MONSTER LIKE YOU. HMM... YOU SORT OF LOOK LIKE... NO... TOO DARK AND POINTY TO BE A GHOST. AHA! I'VE GOT IT! YOU ARE A BAT SCIENTIST! YOU HAVE NO WINGS BECAUSE THEY ARE UNDER YOUR GIANT BLACK HALF-LABCOAT! NYEH HEH HEH! THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS SOLVED THE PUZZLE OF YOUR IDENTITY!"

Well, at least that was closer than Sans' "whatever you're supposed to be dressed as."

Papyrus mentioned something about his brother and science, and Batman simply stayed silent and walked forward, becoming a little annoyed at the boisterous skeleton. The skeleton insisted on staying close to him and talking loudly, which was beginning to become painful to his ears. He'd hope the skeleton would leave him once they'd left the bridge.

Papyrus gave him a tour through the town.

"THIS IS THE SHOP! THE LADY WHO OWNS THE STORE IS VERY NICE! HER SISTER WORKS NEXT DOOR, AT THE INN! AND OVER HERE, IS THE TREE, WHERE PEOPLE PUT PRESENTS UNDER. I DON'T THINK YOU'VE GOT ONE THERE YET, BECAUSE YOU ARE NEW. OVER HERE, IS GRILLBY'S. I NEVER EAT THERE. EVERYTHING THEY HAVE IS GREASY AND AWFUL. SANS EATS THERE ALL THE TIME."

"I'll stop here. It's been a while since I've eaten." Batman wasn't hungry, but he'd had quite enough of Papyrus for one day.

He entered, and the heads of numerous dogs turned towards him, as well as the bartender, who appeared to be a man literally made of fire. An elemental.

It was a little startling, but the thought of waiting out the storm that was Papyrus' limitless enthusiasm filled him with determination.

* * *

 **A/N:** Surely I needn't tell you to pay attention to the save points, yes?


	5. Grillby's

**A/N:** Seems one of the reviewers guessed something correctly. Or mostly correctly. And it seems a certain _other_ reviewer forgot to log out before reviewing. Me. It me.

As multiple people have asked this, might as well answer it publicly:

The Batman I am writing in this fic is mostly the DCAU (DC Animated Universe) Batman. Mostly, but not entirely. The DCAU is known for the Justice League cartoons, which contain my personal favourite canon content. They totally reconceptualized the Question in a neat way. But you're not here to see me fangirl. Allons-y!

* * *

It seemed that Batman had gotten away from Sans' "human hunting fanatic" brother, and wound up with yet more dogs.

Two robed dogs spoke up. Or... barked up?

"What's that smell?"

"(Where's that smell?)"

The dogs exchanged confused glances, trying to decide what to do with the new person.

"If you're a smell..."

"(...Identify yoursmellf!)"

The two robed dogs, Dogamy and Dogaressa, got up and walked away from the other anthropomorphic dogs and circled around Batman, sniffing him at a safe distance and waving their axes menacingly. Though the people in the bar already seemed intrigued by the new arrival, the entire bar's attention was now locked onto Batman and the dogs.

"That weird smell... it makes me want to eliminate..."

"(...eliminate you!)"

He was ready. He'd faced worse than a couple of dogs unarmed, this should be no problem. He equipped the branch he picked up earlier.

As Batman felt his Soul pull out from his chest, there was a whoosh of flame over at the bar. An odd, humanoid bird monster spoke up from in front of the bar.

"Grillby says no fighting."

The Dogi looked at each other, then at Grillby, the fire man behind the bar.

"They smell like a human."

"(We're supposed to eliminate humans.)"

Grillby made a crackling sound, like a burning twig breaking. The bird, apparently Grillby's interpreter, spoke up again.

"He says you're mistaken."

The dog playing poker in the corner, which Batman recognized as the dog that encountered him in the forest, barked a few times and returned to playing poker with himself.

All the dogs looked excited, tails wagging, and the remaining seated dogs stood up. They started clamouring.

"He pet you?" "Pet? Pat? Pot?" "(Please don't leave us out!)" "Woof woof yip! Pant-pant-pant"

The dogs started crowding around Batman, begging for attention. He did rather like dogs, but this was ridiculous.

But there were certainly worse ways to avoid a fight than petting dogs. Obviously, he wasn't being given much of a choice here.

The crowd went back to their business and the bartender raised a fiery hand to where one would assume his mouth would be as sparks started to fly off him. Grillby was laughing. Wonderful.

Unlike most dogs, who would beg for attention perpetually if allowed, the guard dogs quieted quickly and returned to their seats almost simultaneously, as if understanding the limits of his willingness to stand around and pet them.

Grillby looked to Batman and motioned for him to take a seat by the bar.

"I don't intend to stay for too long. I have something I should be doing."

Grillby wanted him to take a break. He insisted. After all, it had been a long time since he'd conversed with a human.

Batman raised an eyebrow and sat down. The bartender wouldn't try to attack him after stopping the others from fighting him. The bird monster two seats to his left eyed him curiously. Grillby made a shooing hand motion, gesturing for the bird monster to not bother them.

Grillby asked for his name and offered a drink. On the house.

"I'm Batman." Batman looked at the menu. Most of the drinks were unfamiliar, a good number of them probably being meant for dogs, Tea was an option, but only as "Tea." No varieties or blends were listed.

"I'll have tea."

Tea wasn't a common choice at Grillby's bar. Grillby opened a shelf and grabbed an odd variety of tea leaves. Batman recognized a number of them, and not many of them were usually blended together. There were a few leaves from various places around the world, and he wondered how the bartender had gotten them in the underground.

Grillby crumpled a few leaves and put them in a glass, then very carefully filled the glass with water. He then held the glass in his hand and faced Batman, wanting to hear what'd brought Batman to Snowdin and what he thought of it.

Grillby was already aware that he was a human, but the other patrons were not, and Batman preferred to keep it that way.

"I'm not entirely sure. I haven't been here long. It's... very peaceful, despite everything." He glanced back at the dogs who'd tried to attack him. "I'm still discovering why I'm here."

Grillby nodded, and the way his flames flickered gave the impression of a smile. The glass in his hand was steaming, the tea inside becoming darker as the leaves steeped. The steam made the air ripple in front of Grillby, further exaggerating the movements of his flames.

Batman could see no end to the fire. He'd expected to be able to see something inside all the flames. A fuel source or something akin to a solid body. But Grillby appeared to be simply... fire. Fire that so happened to be wearing clothes and brewing tea in his hands.

Grillby put the hot tea down and motioned for his guest to take caution, as the glass was hotter than the tea. Batman nodded, thanked him, and took a sip. His gloves weren't just for show, after all.

The tea itself was alright. It wasn't a blend he was used to. It was mild and tasted vaguely of cinnamon.

Grillby asked him if he was in a rush.

"No," he replied, "but I don't intend to stay long."

The fiery bartender nodded and continued about his business. Batman watched him and the other patrons analytically. The atmosphere was relaxing, a definite change from well... pretty much anywhere that served alcohol in Gotham. It held neither the air of haughty appraisal of the parties Bruce Wayne attended and hosted, where the elite quietly looked for ways to use both people and circumstances to their advantage, nor the tense and dangerously drunken atmosphere of the pubs Batman had investigated. It was nice. ...It was strange.

There wasn't even litter on the floor. The place was so idyllic and so _impossible_ , Batman was almost uncomfortable. Almost. Nobody was giving him wary or suspicious glances. This was especially strange because he'd been accused of being human, and apparently, humans were to be hunted down. The bartender was even willing to go against that in his favour.

The strange creatures and talking skeletons, even the fact that the strange red heart that appeared to be his _soul_ appearing through some bizarre reason seemed less odd to him than the monsters' overwhelming innocence and naivete.

It couldn't be real, yet it couldn't be a dream. What sort of illusion was this? Was he transported to some strange alternate world? Was there a purpose for him to be brought here?

He soon finished his tea, and Grillby mentioned that Papyrus appeared to have been distracted by having to chase a small white dog.

Time to keep moving.

Were all monsters like the ones he'd met? Doubtful. Every utopia was but a hidden dystopia, in his experience. Something was amiss and he would find out what it was.

As he stepped out the door, the thought of finding the truth filled him with determination.

* * *

 **A/N:** The next chapter will be a massive challenge, as well as very long. However, if all goes well, most of you won't even read this author's not before it goes up.


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